Friday, March 7, 2014

I Do Believe My Hunger is Being Froward

Post Number: 153
Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 38/31 of 69 (Goal: 30/39)
     Pedometer Reading: 5019
     Meetings Attended: Overeaters Anonymous
     Exercise Completed: None
     M-W's Word of the DayFroward {This is not a misspelling}
     {Don't use this word in reference to your kids in spite of the extreme temptation to do so.}

I have mixed feelings about today. I feel like I am gaining weight. I have a scale but haven't confirmed whether I have gained weight. Some of the good points were the small portions (not enough spaghetti to cover a 4 inch plate), the extended time to eat high calorie items (nearly 2 hours for one small bag of chips), the leaving off of some ingredients (like the tortillas in our breakfast burritos), and other back-patting worthy events I can point to. But what makes it mixed is the concern that I may be looking for those things to call successes. Am I searching for these success all the while putting nearly 1 tablespoon of butter on a large serving of green beans and a full tablespoon of sour cream on my breakfast burrito? While eating chocolate candy and potato chips in the same day, am I seeking to placate my jittery emotions?

I will know tomorrow how I am doing. Tomorrow is weigh in at Weight Watchers. The added pounds will be rough. And, sadly, the beginning of the end will be even more difficult.

But instead of focusing on that, I want to focus on the end of the beginning in my exercise. I need to find something. The Biggest Loser attempt still has my ankles screaming. But I must attempt something. Today, it is Functional Fitness. Except for the pain, having all of the kids join me in the exercising was quite enjoyable.

Hopefully, those feelings of joy will carry my through the job searching. I have not yet completed the job applications for the positions I found this week. And I sometimes wonder if this is a negative influence in my emotional well-being that is leading to the poor eating habits. Money is getting tighter and tighter while Horse's wedding is drawing closer and closer.

These and other emotional influences, positive and negative, need to be explored through prayer, meditation, exploration, and journaling.

Thank you for joining me on this journey!


P.S.: Prepare and prevent, don't repair and repent.

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