The Ghosts of Birthdays Present

Post Number: 146

Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 44/25 of 69 (Goal: 30/39)
     Pedometer Reading:  - {Pedometer clip broken}
     Meetings Attended: Missed Overeaters Anonymous
     Exercise Completed: At the Y -
          Recumbent Elliptical Machine
               20 minutes & 3.12 miles @  Level 8

          Swam Laps (10 laps, 500 yards)

     M-W's Word of the Day: Cheeseparing

Murphic Entropy is proud to sponsor today's blog entry.

Already having a rough time of things? Letting yourself go just a little? We'll be thrilled to add in some additional complications. Let's take a look at Eliot, a typical example of how our services can complicate your life.

Eliot has had quite a bit of success. But something's eating him. Even he isn't sure what it is. And when something is eating Eliot, Eliot eat something. But he's chosen today to push harder than ever to make better decisions. We just had to laugh. Poor Eliot. Thinking he can control all those influences.

Let's watch as Eliot returns home. He has a set of plans in mind for his day. They are good plans. But we're going to step in and do our thing. He things that his kids will be up and having breakfast when he gets home. He's half right. They are up. He switches gears. He is adaptable after all. He calls his mom. He's supposed to visit her and it is her birthday. We'll be taking advantage of that later. He knows that his mom just might be willing to take the family to breakfast. Since no ones eating, this is an important piece of information.

He calls. Everyone wishes Grandma a Happy Birthday. Aww... Isn't that nice. And then he begins to discuss plans. Yes, she is willing to take the family to breakfast. Now is the time to hit the road. While he's just returned from the gym and is certainly ready to leave, it takes a little more time for everyone else to leave. Long enough that breakfast is no longer an option. This is just one small step in our plan to continue to push against Eliot's progress.

But before we get to that, let's look at what happens first. First, his mom needs to get bills paid. She only pays in money orders. With that in mind, he heads to the supermarket. He leaves the kids in the car because he's only getting money orders. His mom doesn't want to do any shopping. This is fine with him. Except, there are a few things that she wants to pick up for her oldest grand-daughter's bridal shower. She has several things in mind. And while she's thinking of these, she things of a few other things she needs. But she's going to keep it short.

And this plays to our advantage because his temper is a little short. His mom says she is getting one more thing. Eliot wants to get one thing on his list. They separate and agree to meet in the toy section where his mom is looking for something. Eliot grabs his one thing quickly but cannot find his mom. Eliot learns by text that his kids are acting up. He needs to get out there. And his mom has finished checking out while he was wandering around wondering what is going on. What's going on? We are! We are Murphic Entropy.

And now, the first meal of the day for the family is about to happen. His mom wants tacos. They head to Taco Bell. This turns out to be a good choice. As they drive by, Wendy's has 7 cars backed up behind the order speaker. McDonald's has 5 cars backed up behind their two order speakers. At Taco Bell, they are able to drive right up to the order speaker. That enticement was our doing as well. First, he has to deal with a time-consuming confusion of ordering for the family. Long enough that taco bell has 7 cars backed up behind him when he is finally done ordering. And since he is last, he orders the smallest looking burrito, completely missing the opportunity for something relatively healthy.

But the smallest looking burrito is not healthy. At this stage, he is more concerned with getting fed and moving on the promised drive than paying attention to what he's eating and how long it takes. That is what is motivating Eliot.

Well, there were several other issues he had to face. We weren't going to ease up at all. Here is a short list of our activities as we kept up pressure on Eliot.

1. Iguana conned Lemur into allowing him to eat something he was allergic to, allowing us to foul Eliot's environment
2. His mom needed to make a total of four trips to the supermarket. So much for not wanting to shop. You can almost see his blood pressure expand the blood vessels in his temples.
3. A little ways into their drive for his mom, Jaguar complains of an urgent need for a restroom. This throws a wrench into the process of a relaxing drive.
4. And then there was the stop by the bakery. Our only failure of the day. But we point it out to show that we are constantly working to improve our success.
5. On the final trip to the mega-mart, his mom wants to aid his exercise attempts. She requests the opportunity to purchase exercise DVDs. His kids then go nuts requesting DVDs and CDs for themselves. This is one of our most priceless moments. Here it is grandma's birthday and the kids are ending up with the presents.
6. Then there was the preparations for the Scout banquet. Eliot needed to take over making the chocolate dipped marshmallows so his beloved wife could get in the shower. While he didn't eat any whole marshmallows, dipped or not, we won't mention how many times he licked up chocolate. It would be gloating.
7. And then there was the Scout banquet itself. Another stroke of genius on our part. First, it kept him from the spiritual strength of OA. Second, it placed him around hot dogs and chips. He hadn't had hot dogs in ages. We managed to tempt him into eating one and a little more. And while he didn't actually eat a bag of chips, he nibbled enough from his kids for taste every flavor except the ranch Doritos.

All-in-all, this was one of our best days in pushing Eliot around. The clearest representation of that is in the fact that he consumed more points yesterday than he has in any single day for months. He ate more than he did in two of his better days. He claim yesterday as a victor for Murphic Entropy.

Call on us by name. We're already there, but at least then you'll be acknowledging our presence.

Murphic Entropy - Taking pride in our craft by crafting directed destruction one life at a time.

Yours in the success that will return later, hopefully later today,

Eliot

P.S.: When you really want change, reinforcement will come from your heart. - Doc Childre, Deborah Rozman and Matthew McKay, Transforming Anger

And Therein Lies the Work...

Post Number: 145

Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 34/35 of 69 (Goal: 30/39)
     Pedometer Reading: - {Pedometer clip broken}
     Meetings Attended: Weight Watchers
     Exercise Completed: At the Y -
          Recumbent Elliptical Machine
               20 minutes & 3.13 miles @  Level 8

          Swam Laps (10 laps, 500 yards)

     M-W's Word of the Day: Zeitgeber

Looking back at just this week so far:

• BLTN's Up
• ETNTM's Down
• Total PPV Up
• Exercise Up

One of these things is not like the other. One of these just doesn't belong. Can you find the one that's not like the others, before  I finish my song?

Okay, trick question. Only one of them actually belongs. There are three that don't. And therein lies the work.

I know the PPV of 30 is the value I self-selected. As it is, there is more to getting the weight loss right than getting close to that number. What concerns me is the quality of the food, not the quantity. This is especially disconcerting when events occurs like discovering that a vanilla wafers, when removed from an accidental dunk in butter, taste pretty good. Intellectually, I was going, "Ick." But not wanting to waste the cookie, I ate it. And, yes, I had one intentional repeat of the experience. After that, I had four more plain vanilla wafers. I found the butter-free delectable treat quite satisfying. It's rare the butter is around, butter being an ingredient cheesecake crust for Horse's upcoming bridal shower. With these things in the house and my tenacity is sticking to good food selections having left the building, I need to work to be physically elsewhere. In this case, ensconcing myself in my job search at the computer.

But now it's time to head off into more temptations. Today is my mother's birthday. And she wants to head to Pastry Perfection to let the family pick out treats. I won't have any trouble not picking anything out for me. Where the difficulty arises, is not nibbling off of the kids' treats. This was demonstrated to me yesterday when Asian Red Fox and I were on the way home from her seminary class. A substitute teacher has handed out chips and candy. And I nibbled on a little of each.

My concern here is that the little amounts of nibbling the wrong foods will turn into larger amounts of eating entire portions of the completely wrong foods. But I will worry about this more later. It's time to alter the kids energy level and get the morning chores done. We need to get to their grandmother's place.

Yours in the journey over the asphalt and through the concrete jungle to Grandmother's house we go,

Eliot

P.S.: I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold: Service was joy. - Rabindranath Tagore

Keep Moving Forward (But How?)

Post Number: 144

Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 37/32 of 69 (Goal: 30/39)
     Pedometer Reading:  - {Pedometer clip broken}
     Meetings Attended: Missed Overeaters Anonymous
     Exercise Completed: At the Y -
          Recumbent Elliptical Machine
               20 minutes & 3.22 miles @  level 8

          Swam Laps (10 laps, 500 yards)

     M-W's Word of the Day: Picayune
          Bloom County / Berkeley Breathed fans should recognize this word.
          Click here for a reminder in case you've forgotten.

Two days ago, MBWM received a post on Facebook that included a video. It wasn't hard to find on YouTube: Little Boy Drumming. The cosmic twist of fate in my day was that, while the video was playing I Hate Myself for Loving You, I was eating from Quail's cereal. I really did dislike eating the foods that are a poor choice for me that was meant for one of my kids. I did do a little better yesterday than two days before. I didn't fall of the wagon until much later in the day. When you fall of the good food selection wagon, the ouch doesn't happen until weigh in.

I wanna run but I crawl back to you...

This so describes my relationship with food these last few days.

That is why today has to be even better.

Yours in the struggle to keep on keepin' on in a forward-type direction,

Eliot

P.S.: How Does a Sailboat Work?

Symbolic Gesture of Hope

Post Number: 143

Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 34/35 of 69 (Goal: 30/39)
     Pedometer Reading: - {Pedometer clip broken}
     Meetings Attended: None Scheduled
     Exercise Completed: At the Y -
          Recumbent Elliptical Machine
               20 minutes & 2.60 miles @  8 resistance

          Swam Laps (10 laps, 50 yards)

     M-W's Word of the Day: Solatium

The day started out great except that I had the song Busy Prepositions from Schoolhouse Rock stuck in my head. Why couldn't it have been The Shot Heard Round the World, I'm Just a Bill, Mother Necessity, or Interjections? Exercising at the Y went well. Even while reading/listening to Start Strong. Finish Strong., the song stuck around. And the day continued to be quite good. And then I goofed the food again around lunch time. Well after lunch was over, I remembered my idea about reviewing my blog for added strength, motivation, and insight. Because of this slip in food and forgetfulness, I chose to step aside from the family and concentrate on networking. I am contacting all the people I know that either are engineers or work with engineers. This effort is in the hopes of networking into a contact within a Boise company that has a wonderful chemist position open.

One of the most interesting abbreviations in a job title that I came across yesterday was: Beneficial Use Reconnaissance Program (BURP) Environmental Technician. It involves hiking and camping, so I won't be applying for this position. Other than that, it seemed like a great position. And I am sure burping around the campfire is common.

In my own life, I need to make a motivational attitude more common. I did that symbolically this morning. I purchased a can of Pringles several days ago. I had eaten maybe a quarter of it. I would only nibble two or three chips at a time. And since it was in my car, those nibbles only happened while I was in the car. This morning, I threw them away while walking into the Y. A symbolic gesture of hope.

Yours in the hope of a new day reborn in a string of good days,

Eliot

P.S.: While driving home, I saw a vanity plate that I had to comment on.

Vanity License Plate: GOT C4

It might be a question (GOT C4?) or a statement (GOT C4!). Punctuation makes all the difference. But the 20 year old original source of this of thousands of spin offs is being retired according to this article at NBC Nightly News.

Is It Permissible to Sashay on Sunday?

Post Number: 142

Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 23/46 of 69 (Goal: 30/39) {Fasting}
     Pedometer Reading: 2595 {At approximately 1 pm when the clip was discovered to be broken}
     Meetings Attended: None Scheduled
     Exercise Completed: None Scheduled

     M-W's Word of the Day: Sashay

There was a slow start to Sunday. There was much to do on this particular Sunday, so while the slow start felt good, it needed to change. And change it did. At the point in time where there was one hour until it was time to leave for church. At which point, action possessed all those concerned. Most of my kids, however, weren't concerned.

I am concerned more about my eating today. That fast went well. It felt good. And then I broke my fast. Normally, breaking my fast is 8 - 12 PPV. Today, it was 23. That was thoughtless. Eating enough to make up for the lost meals defeats one of the purposes of the fast; the process of forgoing lesser concerns (food) to obtain higher desires (spiritual assistance of one form or another). Eating all that food isn't the proper way to break a fast. Chalk another one up to the a series of poor decisions motivated by compulsion, exhaustion, and stress.

To understand how I got here and how I have been better able to handle these types of issues in the past, I am going to start a new project. I'm even going to retroactively include it in my goal descriptions and evaluations that were posted on Sunday. I am commencing a review of my journaling in this blog. Somehow, I was able to do better. I'm not saying I didn't slip up. I didn't slip up for this long of a period of time before.

To start my review, I scanned for the purposes of this blog. This is the results as reminders of motivations described in the blog so far:

• Accountability - This one is going well.
• Recreational Writing - This is enjoyable
• Uplifting Historical Review - Starting this now
• Develop value for the reader - Returning to this one later when the articles restart
• Develop a readership - Need to provide more emphasis behind this one

I am hoping the review will provide encouragement to overcome compulsion, mental renewal to overcome exhaustion, and smiles to relieve stress.

One stress that has been relieved is the location for Horse's bridal shower. I has been scheduled for March 1st for better than 6 weeks. And we only reserved a location yesterday. It wasn't for lack of trying. But MBWM pulled it off with a little input from me.

And now my body needs the proper exercise input. I am off to the Y. This is my last week, after all. I will miss the Y. But I don't see how there is any way for me to afford

Yours in the brighter future that will come from historical review,

Eliot

P.S.: I know you have been pining for the answer, but, yes, it is permissible to sashay on Sunday.

P.P.S.: One must be an inventor to read well. There is then creative reading as well as creative writing. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Divine Intervention / Death to Doritos (Evaluation: Week 26)

Last Weigh In: Saturday, 22 February 2014

Weight Information -

• Weight: 366.6 lbs
• Weight Change:
• This Week: -3.0 lbs
• To Date: -86.6 lbs
• Weight Gauge: Good Thing I Didn't Break My Stride (Much)
• Body Mass Index: 57.4 (down from 57.9)
• Daily PPV:
• Assigned: 69 (unchanged)
• Personal: 30 (increased by 2)
• PPV This Week: 
• Used: 184 out of 483
• Not Used: 299 (61.9%)

Goals (Description / Evaluation) -

• Chronological Goal: No longer obese in 2014 / Well on my way. Latest projections for leaving behind morbidly obese using:
• The last 16 weeks of data: Between July 15, 2014 and July 19, 2014, an increase of 6 days
• All 25 weeks of data: Between August 22, 2014 and September 4, 2014, unchanged
• Employment Goals
• Make at least 5 networking contacts each week. / Not a good networking week. Still found leads on my own.
• Apply for at least 5 positions each week / Applying for positions is time consuming but I am hitting this one and then some. Several applications were found this week in my field of chemistry.
• Prepare for my interview on Tuesday. / Interview went great. Follow-up conversations went well. Awaiting outcome.
• Weight Watchers Awards this Week: None *sigh*. Almost asked for a bravo for getting back to the gym.
• Blog Review: Given the extended duration of a deficit of motivation, I am rereading my journaling to quicken my spirit, empower my resolve, embolden my emotions, and educate my intellect. / Starting this week. Thankfully, I have a smartphone that will allow for opportunities to review when time is short or unexpected opportunities arise regardless of location. I have already place a tile on my start screen.
• Number Goals: Overall direction is exciting. Long-term quantity is thrilling. Weigh-in this week was both exciting and confusing. 
• Weight: Next three hurdles are as follows
• 20% Weight Loss at 362.4 lbs / 4.2 lbs away
• 100 Pounds Lost at 353.2 lbs / 13.4 lbs away
• Transition off of Kimkins at 350.0 lbs / 16.6 lbs away
• BMI: Reach a value below 40.0 (morbidly obese) / 17.4 away
• PPV Not Used this Week: 287 PPV / 299 PPV - Beat goal by 12
• Waist Goal: Lose another available hole in the belt until I need to switch to a new belt. / Belt is comfortable and effective back at 3 available holes. 4 is somewhat effective. 2 is uncomfortable. Replacement belt has already been secured.
• Feel Good Goal: Consistent practice of my meditation and relaxation techniques / Meditation went well. Continuing review and research of meditation. Started some simple relaxation techniques. Still haven't tried the relaxation audio files I downloaded.
• Physical Goals: 
• Walk upright up the stairs of my house every time using the railing only for precaution. / I still need to mountaineer my way up the stairs. Asian Red Fox pointed out that I am coming up the stairs quickly.
• Tie my shoes unassisted anywhere. / I cannot tie my shoes without physical aids but it is getting easier. I didn't need any personalized assistance this week.
• Take a bath in my bathtub. / My bathtub is big enough, but I cannot get into or out of it when it's dry without painful exertion. This would negate any lasting value to the bath. Don't want to try to get out when wet yet.
• The Y: Swim laps four days next week. Use the recumbent elliptical machine ahead of swimming. I am going to set my alarm for 5 am for next week. / Tough work getting back to the Y. Exercising felt good but recovery took longer. Last week at the Y. My goal is to hit all 5 weekdays.
• Alternative to the Y: I need to research further for options outside of the Nampa Rec Center and Axiom. / Still attempting to determine the best methods of cardio that are within a distance I can afford to drive to. This one will probably have to wait until I have a new job.
• Exercise without the Gym: Locate workouts options that don't involve a gym. / I didn't explore this at all this week. This will be the only option after next week. I need to get to library to check out and try a couple DVDs.
• Weight Watchers:
• Use the paper tracker to record calculated points every day this week. / I have tracked for 18 weeks. The only day I missed was Christmas. Go me!
• Increased available PPV at 30 for my daily points instead of 69 as assigned by WW. / I am hoping the combination of increasing the daily points and being refocused this week will help me have a more stable week in my food selection.
• Range of PPV in past has varied daily between 6 and 18 points from goal in one week. Keep range to 4 points except while fasting. / This week was atrocious. But I'm not going spend all that much time worrying on my numbers this week. This week has been an aberration. Cancelling this one. I have enough to track in life. I suspect that variations aren't as relevant to weight loss success, overall happiness, and achieving satiation.
• Avoid using 49 weekly points. Daily points leave 39 available every day. That's 273 leftover points available per week. / Nailed it!
• Attend two meetings this week. Scheduled for Wednesday and Saturday. / Missed Wednesday. Wednesday is frequently a problem. No more scheduling visits or activities anywhere near Wednesday's meeting. And while I didn't schedule anything over this meeting, life did. Since this is a recurring theme. I may need to switch days.
• Overeaters Anonymous: 
• Attend two meetings this week. Scheduled for Tuesday and Thursday. / Made this one. Need to keep it up this week.
• Perform moral inventory for Step 4. / Didn't work on this one. Want to read more, write more, and explore more.
• Never Ceases to Amuse Me Blog: Journal 300 out of 365 days. / Journaled 53 of 53 days so far this year.
• Reading Materials - Self-assigned reading assignments
• What Color is Your Parachute? - Continue reading this week / Read various portions while researching different aspects of job searching this week. Need to start at the beginning and read forward.
• This is How to Get Your Next Job - Read this week / Read for interview. Want to wrap it up this week.
• Start Strong. Finish Strong. - Read Chapter 4 / Read much of Chapter 4, still reading while working out.
• AA Big Book - Read Chapter 5 and Chapter 6 of the AA Big Book. / Read more of Chapter 5.
• Some books I want to read soon but don't have time but want to read right now:
• WW Find Your Fingerprint
• The Doctor is In
• Good Calories. Bad Calories.
• Hot Button Review
• Mental-Function - I was glad to be back to Y, but not excited. At this stage, exercising without the Y is only a hope. The mental hot button isn't really motivating me, especially after doing well at the job interview..
• Spiritual - Good week this week. The fast started the week well. Plenty of divine influences ahead of the direct intervention of the weight loss.
• Numbers-Game - No idea what my numbers are now except blood pressure, so focusing on this one. And didn't take my blood pressure much this week. Increasing blood pressure taking this week.
• Sticky Notes
• Be active for 5 minutes out of every sedentary hour
• Put down the fork and sip water between bites
• Eat more veggies
• No high carb nibbling. Kimkins separation in T-minus 17 pounds.
• Review calendar every morning
• Get to Bed! 5 AM Comes Early!!

Strange numbers in the results of two weeks ago. Even stranger numbers this last week. For the second time since I started, an increase in food consumption led to an increase in weight loss. I can't explain it, but its okay. I have upped the PPV I've assigned myself to 30. Hopefully, this will aid in many ways. I am going to try for one more week to keep the LCLF food selection going. Although I allowed myself carbs yesterday. I wanted to enjoy them instead of feeling guilty about them. And as mentioned in a previous entry, I haven't been going overboard in quantity. I've just been selecting items that are not a part of the LCLF options.

This is how the numbers for the 100 pounds weight loss key chain charm are shaping up for this week:

Weight Watchers Meeting	Weight Loss per Week for 100 lbs Lost
3/1/2014	16.6
3/8/2014	8.3
3/15/2014	5.5
3/22/2014	4.2

I am even less hopeful that I will pass the 100 pounds hurdle by the March 22nd deadline. But I know I will pass that mark. It's just a matter of time. Maybe I will have to come up with my own key chain charm for my keychain. I'll have to suggest this to MBWM.


Looking Forward:

• Keep the job search going strong and the networking stronger.
• Stay on program with Weight Watchers, especially keeping the daily points consumed to a daily maximum of 30 PPV.
• Avoid the temptation of high carb nibbles into my week except for Saturday.
• Keep on track with cardio machines and swimming laps at 5 am at the Y. Push for a complete week of 20 minutes on the Octane and 100 yards in the pool.
• Attend all meetings. Don't schedule things before them. Review calendar every morning.
• Hold onto the joyful feelings of this day to get me through the the times of lesser success in weight loss, the trudging through job searching, and other complications life is throwing my way.

IVCUFI:

IV - I have found the way of staying the course while making adjustments.
CU - I have seized the road by listening to my body by loosening the reigns only a little.
FI - I am enjoying the journey by being thrilled at the weight loss of this last week.

Post Number: 141

Review of Yesterday's Progress

     Daily PPV Used/Left: 38/31 of 69 (Goal: 30/39)

     Pedometer Reading: 3183

     Meetings Attended: Weight Watchers

     Exercise Completed: None Scheduled

     M-W's Word of the Day: Tangerine

     Pageviews to Date: 1893 (Increased by 97 Pageviews This Week)

While I did kill quite a few Doritos yesterday, Doritos needs to be dead to me. MBWM asked if I would pick up a few items from the grocery store on my way back from returning a DVD to the library. I asked if there was anything she wanted. She said Doritos. I picked up the common size bag. Not the smaller convenience size nor the larger party size. I should have picked up the smaller size. While I did allow myself carbohydrates yesterday, I made sure to eat small quantities. Points add up quickly with carbohydrates. The carbohydrate selections were fractions of a serving except for one piece of toast. But as the night continued onwards, the Doritos were slowly nibbled at. I never ate more than 2 or 3 at a time. I had the first nibble at about 4 pm and the next one at about 6 pm. But after that, I waited 15, 20, 30 minutes between nibbles. But I kept eating them. For several hours.

The takeaway is four-fold.

1. I need to either remove me from the temptations or the temptations from me when the evening is arriving or progressing.
2. If MBWM wants a treat, buy small.
3. If I give myself permission to ease up, I need to not go overboard.
4. Number 1 is far from new, having been a prior complaint in several posts. The rest aren't surprises. I need to have specific plans in place to help with evenings.

The good news about yesterday is that while I was returning one DVD, I picked up two exercise DVDs. They are:

1. The Biggest Loser: The Workout - 30-Day Jump Start
2. Functional Fitness starring Suzanne Andrews: Younger in 30 Days

Since there is a known correlation between exercising during weight loss and maintenance and keeping that weight off for the long-term, when the Y is over, I need to have something in place.

The understanding concerning weight loss and exercise comes from statistical analysis. If you have two pieces of numerical information and you want to see if there is a relationship between them, you can perform statistical testing. That is, does one of the pieces of information predict the other. One of the ways of making that prediction is to calculate the correlation coefficient. It is labeled r². The value of the correlation coefficient varies from 0 to 1. The better one piece of information predicts the second piece of information, the closer the value is to 1. If there is no relationship between the two, the value is 0. I wanted to see how well the amount of points eaten predicts the weight lost. The value computed by Excel is: r² = 0.22. This means that the amount of points eaten is a very poor predictor of the amount of weight loss.

What is a predictor of weight loss is keeping on with the keeping on. There are some gear changes that need to happen. One of those is showing appreciation for the divine intervention of weight loss. That is best expressed, in my opinion, by sticking to the course instead of eating Doritos in some form of self-destructive celebration. I'll be easing back onto LCLF after my fast tomorrow. This will serve to reset my thinking and actions in the direction of my past successes. I need to locate a path to at-home exercise options. The two DVDs from the library will help me determine that path.

Right now, I am on the path of heading into my day.

Yours in the excitement of the week ahead, 'cause I am gonna get it right,

Eliot

P.S.: Personally, I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. - Winston Churchill

NOTES

Weight Watchers, 22 February 2014

Last Week: When Food Is Not the Answer

What were the results of the choices you make last week? How well do you handle emotional issues without food.

• Didn't come last week - I can't hear you *fingers*in*ears* La la la la la la 
• Downfall at the end of the day. Bounced on balance ball, took mind off of eating
• Lost weight (no eating high calorie foods like peanut butter in the middle of the night, just fruit and/or water)
• Sick, didn't exercise, started stress eating. Got back to the gym. "Stop the maddness."
• Avoidance eating - go off plan because I want to avoid something, last meeting helped me reconigze this eating

Don't ignore problem, don't treat problems with food.

This Week: Love Your Weekends

About 1/3 of the week is weekends, especially if starting Friday night. Don't spend 1/3 of your week off plan. Add in holidays, parties, etc., 1/2 you life is an excuse to go off plan.

What do you love to do on weekends?

• Drink
• Hang out with friends and neighbors
• Cooke / Bake
• Movies
• Date Night
• Rest
• Bike ride
• Read
• Cheating on plan
• Eat
• Attend Weight Watchers meetings
• Games with grandkids
• Sleep in
• Watch TV
• Travel

What do you have to do on the weekends?

• Chores
• Laundry
• Groceries
• Clean
• Plan the week
• Kids events
• Chauffeur
• Lesson Plan / Grade papers
• Mow lawn
• Yard Work / Gardening

Recap last weekends events / Circle when you went off plan

Face fun and chores of the weekend.

For the Saturday morning group, there is the danger

• I have weighed in
• It's now time to party
• I have Monday thru Friday to fix it

Went off plan. Why?

• Didn't feel good
• Valentine's candy

How do you feel Monday morning

• Sluggish
• Lethargic
• Why? 
• Emotional
• Guilty
• Heartburn
• Water retention
• Headaches
• Remorse

What do you gain when staying on plan on the weekend?

• Control
• Pride
• Self-esteem

Celebrate the good things to be able to get through the problems

How can you have fun on plan?

• Plan for it
• Cut back on alcohol
• Pick things you love to do

What needs to change about your weekend so you can feel happy and proud on Monday?

• Control by tracking
• Try not to cheat
• Better birthday party choices

Next Week: Be a Portion Pro

Argh! (And a Half)

Post Number: 140
Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 36/33 of 69 (Goal: 28/41)
     Pedometer Reading: 2452 (paused)
     Meetings Attended: None Scheduled
     Exercise Completed: At the Y -
          Swam Laps (8 laps, 400 yards)
          Recumbent Elliptical Machine
               17 minutes & 2.70 miles @ 8 resistance
     M-W's Word of the Day: Teem

Today has been a rough day. Like the last couple days, I start strong but lose resolve, and finish weak. I am eating many more points that I would like. On top of that, I don't like the food selection. If I have lost any weight this week, it will be divine intervention. I'm not so much worried about the weigh in tomorrow as I am about changing the course of this last week. This last week, the willingness to give into hunger to eat more of the wrong things has me concerned I am returning to an old trend. I am hopeful that I will determine the means of turning this around before the short-term trend becomes a long-term habit.

I am also hopeful that I can turn around my unemployment. I located five positions this week that I am well suited for. I finished all of the applications today. I hope the work on my resume convinces them of the same.

There was an unconvincing attack on my religion today. It was a strange piece of my day today and left me ruminating for a period of time just before I started notes for this entry. Since I couldn't seem to shake the thoughts, I chose to enter them into my blog. He came out of left field with low-level threats. It was strange listening to attacks that used a technique of trying to convince me of the falsehood of scientific evidences of the Book of Mormon. I don't believe what I believe because of those evidences. If they are true, they are a nice ornamentation to my faith. If they aren't true, they don't remove the foundation of my faith. And I had never heard these evidences before, so I was already skeptical of not only what the person was trying to interpret for me but also of the original information he was attacking. Consider it part of my nature as a chemist, evidences by other faithful members still require my own verification.

And speaking of verifications and recording information in my blog, I came across an interesting scientific result that I want to dig into a little deeper. It compared prebiotics (foods that encourages the growth of good bacteria in the gut) and probiotics (the addition of good bacteria to your eating selection). Prebiotics are foods like onions, garlic, and leeks. There are others, but they escape me at the moment. The three listed are among the top five choices. And garlic has the additional advantage, if eaten in quantities of four or more raw cloves per day, of reversing plaque buildup in arteries. In the results of the scientific study, probiotics were considered a good option for increasing the amount of good bacteria in the gut. But prebiotics were considered an even better option for increasing the amount of good bacteria in the gut.

My gut wasn't feeling to well last night, probably because of the dramatic shift in the food I've been eating. To help me feel better, I went a listened to a few of pieces by The Piano Guys.

• Let It Go (Disney's "Frozen") Vivaldi's Winter - ThePianoGuys
• ThePianoGuys Live at Red Butte Garden - Beethoven's 5 Secrets
• Rockelbel's Canon (Pachelbel's Canon in D) - 4 Cellos - ThePianoGuys

I took a screenshot from the second one for my P.S. The statement caused a surging bittersweet mixture of melancholy and enthusiasm. I have many skills and talents that education and experience have only added to the list. But I don't know that I know what my "art" is. Teaching? Chemistry? Being able to hear music? Setting the sails of the Authorship? And then the music swelled, the showmanship presented itself, and the rapturous delight ensued. I still don't know what my "art" is, but I do enjoy some good music.
Now it's off to Weight Watchers to face the music.
Yours in the mixture of numerous ingredients that give the day its flavor,
Eliot

P.S.:

When History Becomes A Little More Urgent

Post Number: 139

Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 28/41 of 69 (Goal: 28/41)
     Pedometer Reading: 6540
     Meetings Attended: Overeaters Anonymous
     Exercise Completed: At the Y -
          Swam Laps (8 laps, 400 yards)
          Recumbent Elliptical Machine
               16 minutes & 2.55 miles @  7 resistance

     M-W's Word of the Day: Small Beer

Yesterday was a mixed blessing. I traveled. I swam. I conquered. I cannot say I was excited to be back at the Y yesterday morning. But I can say I was glad to be there. My exercise effort demonstrated three important facts for me:

1. I haven't lost much ability at the time of the exercise. 
2. The recuperation process has been extended.
3. I'm not as over my head/chest congestion as I thought I was.

These were wonderful observations. Then I ate my breakfast. I was able to restore my eating success for breakfast. I was feeling very hungry, but that was okay. Breakfast was only two points more than usual. I felt I was well on my way to good day. And then the sabotaging started. Maybe sabotage is too strong a word. I was hungry enough that it was easy to make poor choices. They weren't astoundingly poor choices. A dozen pretzels, not a bag of chips. Four M&M's, not a Snickers bar. A piece of toast with margarine, not a Big Mac. But they are counter to the LCLF food selection I want to use until I have lost 100 pounds. Is it time to alter my food selection philosophy? Should I take a temporary break to enliven my desire to select the right foods? I've known from experience and research that LCLF is not a long term solution for me.

I also know from the experience of others and minute levels of research that the bill I received yesterday from the IRS is not to be ignored. It seems that a distant creditor, instead of merely signing away a long forgotten debt, chose to fire off one last parting shot. The creditor cancelled the debt and then reported it to the IRS. I wasn't surprised by this attitude. Instead, I was surprised by the tax rate: 22%. And that's the tax rate before the interest that has already accumulated. This is the first notice and I'm already being charged interest on top of unpaid taxes. I will pay it in full. I don't want to upset the IRS. But this actually brings to light another fear that has been in a dark, forgotten corner of my mind for quite some time. It reappears every once in awhile with the right reminder. Right now, I am making every payment required on my student loan under the Income Contingent Repayment (ICR) plan. If I keep it up for 25 times 12 payments, the loan will be forgiven. And then, I will have to pay approximately $60,000 in taxes on that canceled debt. I fear that eventuality. But I don't see what else I can do at this stage. I have never made enough money to pay the standard repayment. And under ICR, I have never had to pay anywhere near how much interest accrues every month. I guess I will have to start working on my second million. I keep hearing how much easier it is to earn that second million. In spite of the humor, I feel trapped by the situation.

Fortunately, OA helps me feel better in any situation. It is a spiritual boost to any day. I just wish it wasn't so late at night when I have the Y the next morning. We discussed the opening of Chapter 5: How It Works (included in the P.P.S.) last night. When it was my turn, I discussed the difference to me between complete honesty and rigorous honesty. The primary difference for me being the work necessary to lift the honesty from admitting what was happening to admitting why it was happening. I hope that begins to make sense. Having only a few hours of sleep didn't really help this entry. Anyway, it is important to me to put the work into rigorous honesty.

One of the comments that I want to meditate on when I am rested is the statement made by a person that said, "What takes us out of OA is balking, resentment, or fear." The idea of balking comes from the chapter. Resentment and fear are understandable. I suspect there are other reasons, but I'll leave that discussion for another time. But then there is this curious idea that was expressed of reaching something labeled, "Recovery." This led to questions last night that are not with me this morning. And it also re-ignited the internal spiritual debate within me about the best way to bolster my strength. OA is definitely a spiritual booster. But it seems like a water drop compared to so many other oceanic experiences in my life. All of this is in need of mental cogitation.

There was something shared that I wanted to record. One person shared that working recovery in an alcohol or drug addiction is like fighting a tiger into a cage and then keeping it there. Working recovery in food addiction, the tiger needs to be let out of the cage three times a day.

And once a day, I need to get as much sleep as possible. That wasn't last night. And I need to ponder these things some more. Search, ponder and pray. Pray, pay, and obey. {Two LDS catch phrases.} In other words, let my Higher Power guide my path.

Yours in the cosmic search for truth, order, and beauty,

Eliot

P.S.: Conversation while Lemur was using our Nook tablet with headphones.

Jaguar (bearing headphones): Can I listen?
Lemur: No. You touched.
Jaguar: I want to listen.
Lemur (nodding approval): You don't touch it.

{This seemed so much funnier last night when I wrote it down.}

P.P.S.:

Chapter 5

How It Works 

RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with [compulsive overeating]—cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power—that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. 

Learning from History

Post Number: 138

Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 38/31 of 69 (Goal: 28/41)
     Pedometer Reading: 4480
     Meetings Attended: Missed Weight Watchers {Family urgency}
     Exercise Completed: Missed Exercise at the Y {MBWM needed assistance.}
     M-W's Word of the Day: Senescence

I was up at 5 am to go to the Y. But MBWM was having medical problems, old and new. I helped her out instead of heading to the Y. And that led to other fallout that kept me from the Y and Weight Watchers. And that led me to other problems in food selection. Decisions I wish I had made after researching my past weight loss experiences instead of before.

After an extensive review of my past weight loss excursions. I came across a disturbing trend that might help explain some of the problems I am encountering right now. For three of the last five attempts at losing weight, I reached approximately 80 pounds lost, stopped, struggled briefly, and then gave in and gradually added to my weight. For the the other two, (140 pounds lost and 220 pounds lost) there was weight gain, weight wobbles, or weight plateau for a few weeks before passing into the 90 pounds lost.

I need to explore this some more, especially given the lack of exercise and the increase in points consumed of the last few days. I have been extremely hungry for the last couple weeks, but now I am giving in to it. Exercise tomorrow morning first thing. Then menu planning. I will be expecting a weight gain this Saturday. But I will be working now for the weigh-in the Saturday after that. And the depths of this situation need to be explored.

Some of this is the timing of the universe. Tuesday was the first day I was feeling good enough to get back to the Y. But that was the day of my interview. And yesterday, MBWM needed my assistance. Today, the Y has been restored, but only for another eight days of availability.

Some of this is the changing natures of the weight loss beast. Hunger has been a factor for nearly two weeks. I hoped that sticking to my food selection would help get me through it. Since that hope hasn't materialized into reality, it's time to explore what happens next. I have corrections to make to finish out this week and get into next week.

Some of this is the compulsive nature of my eating. I was focused and driven toward good decisions while sick and hungry and preparing for my interview. But the getting through the interview shouldn't mean that it's time to celebrate with calories.

And there needs to be further self-exploration, meditation, and research. I want to know more about this so I can be sure to reach and then keep my weight loss goals.

Yours in the certainty that these last two weeks are part of the learning curve,

Eliot

P.S.: It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people. - Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchet

Does Success in One Area Lead to Sabotaging Another?

Post Number: 137

Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 33/36 of 69 (Goal: 28/41)
     Pedometer Reading: ? {Misplaced pedometer.}
     Meetings Attended: Overeaters Anonymous
     Exercise Completed: Missed Exercise at the Y {Slept in as prep for interview.}
     M-W's Word of the Day: Arch

The morning was about preparing for the interview yesterday. I took a mental / spiritual break by attending OA. And then knocked the interview out of the park. It wasn't a flawless performance, but it do believe I shined. I will be waiting eagerly for the job offer.

Unfortunately, the release of stress and the extensive exhaustion somehow led to my poor choices. I ate an entire Papa Murphy's salad. I calculated the points. And then I nibbled on half a piece of pizza. Okay, that wasn't all that bad except I was already passed my personal limit of 28 points. And still I calculated the points. The points remind me that success is still quite possible. But I did go overboard.

I need to research / meditate on how I'm not doing well in my food selection this week. I hope I'm not self-sabotaging my progress. But I have much success to be grateful for, the weight loss, the job interview, and more.

Yours in the wonderful glow from concentrating on a job well done,

Eliot

P.S.: <Insert Post Script Here>

Interview preparations

Post Number: 136

Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 26/43 of 69 (Goal: 28/41)
     Pedometer Reading: 2779 (paused)
     Meetings Attended: None Scheduled
     Exercise Completed: Missed Exercise at the Y {Down with a bug.}
     M-W's Word of the Day: Redoubtable

Yesterday was made all the more difficult by very little sleep. Quail and the virus teamed up to make sure very little rest was captured by MBWM and me. This made research and preparation for my interview later in the day all the more difficult. Fortunately, I have one more day to prepare. Because of the lack of sleepy and the general cruddy way I feel, I didn't' go the the Y. And since yesterday was to be a trial run of returning to the 5 am rise and run efforts, I won't be rising and running on the day of my interview, later today.

And with that, time to explore the myriad of information I have collected for my interview. Yesterday revolved mostly around the department and the information they put online. Today will revolve around the people and applications of the department's area of expertise.

Yours in the work of getting ahead in the job search,

Eliot

P.S.: Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for. - Socrates

The Work of Recapturing the Momentum

Post Number: 135

Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily PPV Used/Left: 7/62 of 69 (Goal: 28/41) {Fasted}
     Pedometer Reading: 2789 (paused)
     Meetings Attended: None Scheduled
     Exercise Completed: None Scheduled

     M-W's Word of the Day: Probity

Snags internal and snags external. The work of fasting to center myself in the mood and mode of the marathon went quite well yesterday. I enjoyed myself and was grateful for the spiritual uplift. The next step needs to be getting on a good sleep schedule. This is made all the more important for the interview coming up on Tuesday and returning to the Y on Monday. Focusing on recapturing my momentum should be somewhat straightforward. The snags and missteps of the last few days really have been minor. They were made more difficult by the combination of the close proximity of timing of the disappointments and the lack of sleep. Last night's sleep didn't help matters much, but it was enough to get me on track today. The fast is keeping me on track. And with that I made my way through the day as each opportunity presented itself.

And the opportunity to serve another also presented itself. A cousin called in asked for help with getting clothing for an uncle. The ME team (that is, MBWM and I) were able to pull off another successful score.

And then it was a quick bypass of Executive Council, Board of Directors, and Family Council by pushing it to Monday. And from there, to bed!

Yours in the restful expression that is sleep,

Eliot

P.S.: Love people and feed them tasty food.

Not Breaking My Stride (Evaluation: Week 25)

Last Weigh In: Saturday, 15 February 2014

Weight Information -

• Weight: 369.6 lbs
• Weight Change:
• This Week: +1.2 lbs
• To Date: -83.6 lbs
• Weight Gauge: Not Breaking My Stride
• Body Mass Index: 57.9 (up from 57.7)
• Daily PPV:
• Assigned: 69 (unchanged)
• Personal: 28 (unchanged)
• PPV This Week: 
• Used: 120 out of 483
• Not Used: 363 (75.2%)

Goals (Description / Evaluation) -

• Chronological Goal: No longer obese in 2014 / Well on my way. Latest projections for leaving behind morbidly obese using:
• The last 15 weeks of data: Between July 9, 2014 and July 13, 2014, an increase of 6 days
• All 24 weeks of data: Between August 20, 2014 and September 5, 2014, a decrease of 1 day
• Employment Goals
• Make at least 5 networking contacts each week. / Slipped backwards a little on this one this last week. Have to re-energize myself with the interview to build stronger and more numerous connections in the network
• Apply for at least 5 positions each week / Applying for positions is time consuming but I am hitting this one and then some. Many fascinating applications this week. Excited by the prospect of an interview.
• Prepare for my interview on Tuesday. / Need to re-read This is How to Get Your Next Job, a wonderful book on interviewing. There are tests and exercises near the beginning that are used to improve interview skills. Need to craft elevator speech(es) specific to the interview.
• Weight Watchers Awards this Week: None *sigh*
• Number Goals: Overall direction is exciting. Long-term quantity is thrilling. Weigh-in this week was confusing. But it's done and behind me. Time to keep moving forward.
• Weight: Next hurdles are as follows
• 20% Weight Loss at 362.4 lbs / 7.2 lbs away
• 100 Pounds Lost at 353.2 lbs / 16.4 lbs away
• Transition off of Kimkins at 350.0 lbs / 19.6 lbs away
• BMI: Reach a value below 40.0 (morbidly obese) / 17.9 away
• PPV Not Used this Week: 301 PPV / 363 PPV - Beat goal by 62
• Waist Goal: Lose another available hole in the belt until I need to switch to a new belt. / Belt is comfortable and effective back at 4 available holes. 5 is ineffective. 3 is frequently but not consistently used. This reverses last weeks reversal. Weight went up awhile belt size went down. Strange things are happening.
• Feel Good Goal: Consistent practice of my meditation and relaxation techniques / Meditation was more miss than hit this week. Continuing review and research of meditation. Started some simple relaxation techniques. Looking forward to working up to some directed relaxation audio files I downloaded. Being sick this week, I was afraid I would relax myself into unconsciousness.
• Physical Goals: 
• Put on the seat belt in my car using both straps, not one strap. / Not quite ready to call this one met but it is quite close. Not too hard to do without my coat. Difficult but doable with my coat. ACCOMPLISHED! With or without my coat, I can buckle in. Without my coat is easier, but with my coat it is achievable.
• Walk upright up the stairs of my house every time using the railing only for precaution. / I still need to mountaineer my way up the stairs. I consider this one fairly close because I come down easily and go up more willingly.
• Tie my shoes unassisted anywhere. / I cannot tie my shoes without physical aids but it is getting easier. I didn't need any personalized assistance this week.
• Take a bath in my bathtub. / My bathtub is big enough, but I cannot get into or out of it when it's dry without painful exertion. This would negate any lasting value to the bath. Don't want to try to get out when wet yet.
• The Y: Swim laps four days next week. Use the recumbent elliptical machine ahead of swimming. I am going to set my alarm for 5 am for next week. / Reached this three days this week before a virus became severe enough that it lowered my willingness to exert myself strenuously. I worked out at the Anytime Fitness on Monday and Wednesday. Starting Wednesday, the day after my interview, I am going to add in strength training at the Y.
• Alternative to the Y: I need to research further for options outside of the Nampa Rec Center and Axiom. / I used Anytime Fitness this week as a free trial. I liked Anytime Fitness, especially now that I have used it. Still attempting to determine the best methods of cardio that are within a distance I can afford.
• Exercise without the Gym: Locate workouts options that don't involve a gym. / Located more online resources, especially from Weight Watchers. I am trying to filter exercise searches through the level of fitness I am at. Nothing new to report that I can post since Weight Watchers links are behind a log in.
• Weight Watchers:
• Use the paper tracker to record calculated points every day this week. / I have tracked for 17 weeks. The only day I missed was Christmas. Go me!
• Keep available PPV at 28 for my daily points instead of 69 as assigned by WW. / Easy! I have even been eating a little less than this. The assigned points have finally started decreasing. Eventually, the assigned points and my personal points will meet up somewhere. That will be an exciting day. As will the restoration of the 49 weekly points.
• Range of PPV in past has varied daily between 6 and 18 points from goal in one week. Keep range to 4 points except while fasting. / This week was atrocious. But I'm not going spend all that much time worrying on my numbers this week. This week has been an aberration.
• Avoid using 49 weekly points. Daily points leave 41 available every day. That's 287 leftover points available per week. / Nailed it!
• Attend two meetings this week. Scheduled for Wednesday and Saturday. / Missed Wednesday. Wednesday is frequently a problem. No more scheduling visits or activities anywhere near Wednesday's meeting. And while I didn't schedule anything over this meeting, life did.
• Overeaters Anonymous: 
• Attend two meetings this week. Scheduled for Tuesday and Thursday. / Missed Thursday night because of illness. Made Tuesday's meeting even though a trip to the Basque Museum was scheduled right before it.
• Perform moral inventory for Step 4. / Worked on this one. Putting this into my calendar made it more likely to happen.
• Never Ceases to Amuse Me Blog: Journal 300 out of 365 days. / Journaled 46 of 46 days so far this year.
• Reading Materials - Self-assigned reading assignments
• What Color is Your Parachute? - Starting to read this week / Didn't read at all this week, even with reading time in my calendar. Read next book much more.
• This is How to Get Your Next Job - Starting to read this week / Read this several times throughout the week, completing several chapters. I am completing the exercises int eh book and reviewing the information.
• Start Strong. Finish Strong. - Read Chapter 4 / Read much of Chapter 4, still reading while working out.
• AA Big Book - Read Chapter 5 and Chapter 6 of the AA Big Book. / Read a little of Chapter 5 three weeks ago. Didn't read at all this week. Reading time in my calendar tends to go to job search books.
• Some books I want to read soon but don't have time but want to read right now:
• WW Find Your Fingerprint
• The Doctor is In
• Good Calories. Bad Calories.
• Hot Button Review
• Mental-Function - I might be sticking to my exercise efforts for intellectual reasons, but this week I was mentally sluggish. 
• Spiritual - Mixed week this week. Didn't approach the spiritual much this week except for a marathon day of fasting. Tried to renew that feeling with praying frequently. That worked great for one day.
• Numbers-Game - No idea what my numbers are now except blood pressure, so focusing on this one. And didn't take my blood pressure much this week.
• Sticky Notes
• Interview this week! Cut Hair / New Clothes
• Interview this week! Research job, dept, college, req. skills, responsibilities, etc. Plus, get address / names for TY card
• Interview this week! Read job books
• Interview this week! Sleep early
• Interview this week! Schedule Tuesday's events
• Interview this week! Map route early, to campus, parking garage to interview building
• Interview this week! Prepare materials for thank you cards to take with (stamps, pen, envelopes, cards). Pre-write several samples.
• Be active for 5 minutes out of every sedentary hour
• Put down the fork and sip water between bites
• Eat more veggies
• No high carb nibbling. Kimkins separation in T-minus 20 pounds.
• Get to Bed! 5 AM Comes Early!!

Strange numbers in the results of this week. I have several hypotheses, but those don't matter. I’m eating properly. I'm exercising well when I'm feeling well. I'm doing what I need to be doing. This weigh-in aberration is irrelevant. What matters is my reaction. I was dismayed at first. But I do have more than 80 pounds lost. And that bolstered me up quite a bit. Granted, I did come home and put a full slice of cheese in my omelet rather than my usual half slice when I make an omelet. But that, too, is okay. I accounted for it in my points. I know I will return to exercising. I am already eating well. It's time to take seize the day by preparing for my interview.

And I need to prepare to accept what my scale at home is telling me. It has never been more than 0.2 pounds different (up or down) from the Weight Watchers scale. This tells me that it will be a good resource when finances for Weight Watchers runs out. Which may not be an issue. We shall have to see.

As things stand right now, though, my 100 pounds lost WW award is going to take work to reach given the loss of a week and the gain of a pound and the currently unchanged deadline of 3/22/2014. Here is how the numbers stack up this week:

Weight Watchers Meeting	Weight Loss per Week for 100 lbs Lost
2/22/2014	16.4
3/1/2014	8.2
3/8/2014	5.5
3/15/2014	4.1
3/22/2014	3.3

I'm not quite as hopeful that I will pass the 100 pounds hurdle by the March 22nd deadline. But I am still quite sure I will pass that mark. It's just a matter of time.


Looking Forward:

• Preparations for interview on Tuesday
• Stay on program with Weight Watchers, especially keeping the daily points consumed to a daily maximum of 28 and a daily range of 24-28 PPV.
• Avoid the temptation of high carb nibbles into my week.
• Get back on track with cardio machines and swimming laps at 5 am. Add in strength training starting Wednesday.
• Attend all meetings. Don't schedule things before them. Except something like an interview.
• Hold onto the joyful feelings of this day to get me through the the times of lesser success in weight loss (like gaining 1.2 pounds this week), the trudging through job searching, and other complications life is throwing my way.

IVCUFI:

IV - I have found the way of hitting and keeping my stride regardless of stumbles caused by the twists and turns in the road.
CU - I have seized the road by retaining the long-term view which includes enjoying the more than 80 pounds lost.
FI - I am enjoying the journey by accepting the numbers the scale gave me this week secure in the knowledge that I was working hard at this tasks.

Post Number: 134

Review of Yesterday's Progress

     Daily PPV Used/Left: 29/40 of 69 (Goal: 28/41)

     Pedometer Reading: 7568

     Meetings Attended: Weight Watchers

     Exercise Completed: None Scheduled

     M-W's Word of the Day: Lorn

     Page Views to Date: 1796 (Increased by 113 Page Views This Week)

I have been dealing with a virus for the last several days. MBWM pointed out today that I started getting sick not long after I stopped taking my daily vinegar swig as a weight loss aid. I paused to consider her comment. There were four days between when I stopped drinking the vinegar and the first day I was suspicious of having symptoms. I took vinegar again yesterday. We shall see how well it helps. I feel somewhat better today, but still need to get through my day.

Getting through the day is going to be difficult for the next several days as we are down to one vehicle. Our minivan has a flat tire. And I've not been willing to do anything about it because of a lack of ready funds. This has made my car the primary vehicle. I am hopeful that I will be able to purchase a new set of rear tires before too much longer.

I am more interested in purchasing new clothes for my job interview. I am uncertain I can afford that either, but that is where I would actually put my money. The new clothes would be cheaper than a new tire, but not by very much. Plus, the other tire is nearly as bald. And I know I need a set of tires because a good Samaritan stopped by to see if I could use some help with the tire. It was aggressively flat. After three days, it was time to give it some attention. I inflated the tire. Thanked the good Samaritan. I drove to Les Schwab. After their inspection, I was informed that they could not repair the tire because there wasn't enough of the outer tread. When I returned home to put the tire into the garage, I surprised to see the head of a screw embedded in the tire with tread plainly showing. This gives me at least a little bit of hope for the minivan to remain road worthy for a few more weeks.

But hope gave out for some reason last night. I'm not sure which of the several disappointments, the tire being merely one of them, pushed me over the edge. I am afraid I ate a little too much (9 PPV) of the wrong things (high carb) late last night. To help get me ready for the interview and get me back on track, I started a fast. I need to push past the extreme lack of sleep by getting to bed. That will ease so many aspects of my life. One of them being the upcoming interview.

Yours in the process of recovery from viruses and disappointments,

Eliot

P.S.: When something goes wrong, yell, "Plot Twist!" and move on.

NOTES

Weight Watchers, 15 February 2014

Last Month's Theme: The Power of Routines

What did you learn from last week?

• Harder than heck to put down the fork and sip water between bites when on a half hour break. Remembered sporadically. Played catch up by drinking more water when I set down the fork.
• Sleep. Made sure to be in bed on time. Helped to get to the gym.
• Sleep. Turned off lights and TV. Don't feel so tired. Hit gym more often.

What would make next week even easier?

• Turn off lights and television
• Use Simple Start choices
• More fruits and veggies throughout the day
• Share with Weight Watchers friends

When Food is Not the Answer.

Food is the answer only when hunger is the problem.

Which emotions drive you to food?

• Stress
• Anger
• Celebration (Joy)
• Avoidance
• Boredom
• Depression (Sad)
  Lonely
• Tired
• Anxiety
• Apathy
• Rebellion
• Reward
• Ill
• Food pusher

MBWM mentioned PHALT - You will make poor choices and be at PHALT if you go shopping when/in:

P ain
H ungry
A ngry
L onely
T ired

Lots of reasons why we want to eat. Why do we eat when hunger is not the issue? How does it help?

• Struggle with eating quantities
• Redirects attention
• Distraction
• Comforting
• Chemical responses, affects mood in a good way
• Tastes good
• Provides interest
• Increase happiness
• Rewarding
• Bring warm memories forward
• Pride
• Everything looked good, tastes good
• Don't want to be left out
• Accepted

Identify what we get out of succumbing to food when it's emotional eating

There is a positive even if the ultimate pay off is negative

Combat emotion before it happens, especially if tired

Why is it so hard to push down the emotions that lead to eating?

Push down the behavior that are responses to emotion

How do you deal with emotions without food? Need to let yourself feel the emotions and deal with them.

Non-food stand-ins

• Go for walk when stressed
• Go to mall without credit cards when lonely
• Listen to podcasts / talk radio when lonely
• Read a book
• Call family / friends
• Puzzles
• Meditation / prayer
• Exercise
• Celebrate without food

Think about ways to make your week easier, even if it's only deep breathing.

"Don't let your mood eat your food." - Missy Lavintman, Leader from Minnesota

Next Week: Love Your Weekends

Attention to Detail: Weight Loss Down / Interview Skills Up

Post Number: 133

Review of Yesterday's Progress

     Daily PPV Used/Left: 20/49 of 69 (Goal: 28/41)

     Pedometer Reading: 2892

     Meetings Attended: None Scheduled

     Exercise Completed: Missed Exercising at the Y {Down with a bug}

     M-W's Word of the Day: Crepitate

A.A.A.S.: A couple of favorites, starting with -

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no; it is an ever-fixed mark, 

That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks 

Within his bending sickle's compass come; 

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, 

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved. 

A.A.S: Since this blog entry was being set-up on Valentine's Day in preparation for recording my efforts the day after, I wanted to take a moment and record my favorite Shakespearean Sonnet (116). For a paraphrase and analysis, see the details at Shakespeare Online. I also wanted to record the sentiments of the card my wife gave me this morning. It was a wonderful, loving sentiment made all the more deeply personal for how true it is to both of us.

A.S.:

For My Valentine

When I first fell in love with you,

I thought life was as good as it could get.

I loved you - You loved me,

And nothing else in the world seemed to matter.

I never imagined how much better

I'd come to know you,

Care about you,

And love you...

When I first fell in love with you,

I thought our love was as good as it could get.

But it just gets better all the time.

Happy Valentine's Day

This is so true!
I love you with all of my heart
(and butt because it's bigger...)!

M
AKA: Eternally Yours

I so enjoy being a hopeless romantic. And it helps to have someone like MBWM to pour out my affections upon.

*sigh*

Back to the realities of diet, exercise, and job searching.

It's a good thing I was working hard on my job search before watching Stigma - The Human Cost of Obesity. That short has the following information:

• Workplace discrimination is:

• 12x more likely if you are overweight

• 30x more likely if you are obese

• 100x more likely if you are extremely obese

• The Weight of the Nation: 

• Trailer - HBO / YouTube

• Part 1 - Consequences - HBO / YouTube

• Part 2 - Choices - HBO / YouTube

• Part 3 - Children in Crisis - HBO / YouTube

• Part 4 - Challenges - HBO / YouTube {Mislabeled as Part 3 on YouTube}

• Plus there are twelve shorts. YouTube links are used (Not all links are provided. I didn't have that much available time two days ago or yesterday when I was making this list). The Weight of the Nation Shorts:

• Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby

• Obesity and Type 2 Diabetes

• A Model of Community Action

• Nashville Takes Action

• Can Excess Weight Lead to Heart Disease?

• Poverty and Obesity

• Stigma - The Human Cost of Obesity

• How Wellness Programs Can Help the Workforce

• The Biology of Weight Loss

• Is Weight Something We Inherit?

• Health Foods and Obesity Preventions

• Obesity Research and the NIH

• And a few other extras

• HBO Documentary Films: The Weight of the Nation - Great Cafeteria Takeover {One of several Kids Films}

• Why Maintaining a Healthy Weight is So Hard (HBO: The Weight of the Nation)

This wasn't exactly encouraging when it came to thinking about my job search, especially the interview portion that needs to occur. That is where I may feel the discrimination. This means I have to shine even brighter to overcome the shadows my weight will be casting. I just never realized how wide a shadow it would be casting. I have succeeded at this before, most recently at ITT. I will do the work to reach success while interviewing again. Getting the interview is the focus of the moment. When planning for the interview, I am focusing on the book This Is How to Get Your Next Job by Andrea Kay. She starts with some compelling information mixing poor performances by job applicants with the views of the hiring managers dealing with those applicants. She has several tests and exercises that I have bookmarked that I will be completing soon. From the results, she walks you through using that information. She also has several chapters of don'ts. While the don't chapters rarely have specifics that apply to me in the first place (seeming more like common sense), I review them to make sure I haven't missed anything. When the reader has completed the tests and exercises, she takes the reader through the process of how to appear the way the potential employers will view the reader as seeming to fit the bill. She emphasizes this frequently. While it's not fair, the way you seem is the only information the interviewer has to go on.

Fortunately for weight loss, there is much to go on, most especially the way my body feels. As far as weight loss, it feels great. As for exercise, not exercising feels fairly good, unfortunately. As for the bug, yesterday was worse than the day before. I struggled through a few responsibilities. To help out with the alternately plugged or dripping sinuses, I added hot sauce to my food. And while I was eating, my sinuses were at their best. But within minutes of getting done eating, the sinuses returned to their prior state. I need to be concentrating on getting better.

Getting over this bug is important because I had a great phone call. BSU wants to interview me for a teaching position. This is where I focus on applying the resources I have at my disposal. Practicing the tough interview questions. Preparing two or three focused elevator speeches. This is where I shine. This is my favorite part of the job search process. My only concern is that this bug might linger through Tuesday. MBWM dealt with it for three weeks. She has cut way back on the kisses while I've been sick. She doesn't want to catch it again. Fortunately, there are drugs that can help me overcome the symptoms. Better living through chemistry. My only concern there is the OTC drugs for which high blood pressure is a contraindication. I do not take those.

And I do take to the road today. I am off to Weight Watchers. I hope the illness has assisted my weight loss.

Yours in the upcoming excitement of today's weigh in and next week's interview,

Eliot

P.S.: While I wrote this PS and PPS yesterday, nothing in these post-scripts has changed in the intervening 24 hours, having neither time nor energy.

I heard about an HBO documentary better than a week ago. It's taken all that time to finish watching in portions all of part one (Consequences) of the documentary The Weight of the Nation. It intrigued me enough that I also managed to work in enough time to watch one of the shorts associated with the documentary. Here are the links from The Weight of the Nation at HBO website and YouTube that I want to make available:

My hope is that by providing these links, I will have a place to come back to where all of the information is stored. If this list is used by anyone else, I will be all the more thrilled. Hopefully, I will remember to come back and fill in all of the missing links. Thank the heavens above that there are electronic calendars. It should be pointed out that HBO has a website set aside that has much more information. I haven't purused that information either in the interest of time for job searching. But again, I will have this page to remind me.

P.P.S.: Some Weighty Irony - While at YouTube, watching the segment Stigma - The Human Cost of Obesity, I opened a link in a new window to come back to later. As of this writing, I haven't gotten back to the video Top Ten Obesity Causing Foods! Worst Fattening Foods NOT to Eat | Weight Loss, Healthy Diet Tips, but I couldn't resist including a screenshot because of the irony of the topics juxtaposed from the advertisement ahead of the video and the upcoming video itself. Take a look:

How much you wanna bet that cheese, hamburger, or cheeseburgers are in the list in one form or another?