The War On Weight - The Battle of the Aquatics Class - Victor: Murphic Entropy

Post Number: 54

Review of Yesterday's Progress
     Daily Points Left: 43 of 71 (Goal: 21)
     Weekly Points Left: 49 of 49 (Goal: 49)
     Pedometer Reading: 9254 (That's what three shopping trips in one day gets you.)
     Meetings Attended: Missed Weight Watchers
     Exercise Completed: Aquatics Class at the Y replaced with swimming 4 laps (200 yards)

You shoulda seen me. The clock said 6:58 am as I left the laptop for my adventures in aquatics. I was ready this morning for starting my car with the dead battery. I grabbed the portable battery out of the van. As I hustled to my car, a stray thought crossed my mind. One of my brother-in-laws was annoyed with taking his car to the mechanic to change a battery because it was buried underneath the radiator reservoir. I had no idea where the battery is in my car. I popped the hood. No obvious location for the battery. But while searching, I located an arrow with a plus in it that points to the positive terminal for jump starting. Says so right on the label. The battery is buried and the shaft of metal lead high into the engine compartment for accessibility. I scan for the negative terminal. Unable to find it but filled with a strong desire for success, I turned to the instructions. My car hadn't come with them, but I had insisted on buying them off of eBay shortly after buying my car. I was going to succeed! Murphic Entropy was not going to beat me today.

So beating a quick path to the glove box, jumping to the index, scanning for jump start, turning to page 186, I eagerly read about jump starting. I read through the safety warnings including protective eye wear. I read through the parking instructions for two cars ahead of jump starting. I read through the transmission warnings. I read through the security alarm warnings. And then I came across the important information, the location of the negative terminal, and leaped into action. It was an amazing metaphorical leap. I return to the engine compartment. I clip the red (positive) lead from the portable battery to the metal stem with two arrows pointing it out. I clip the black (negative) lead to the stem meant for it. There's even a arrow with a negative near it, but it's in an unusual location. It's part of the mechanism that holds the hood closed. But I've found it and succeeded. Time to advance! I flip the portable battery switch to on. And I'm immediately greeted with my horn beeping. Oh, yeah. The security alarm warning. The horn didn't even sound for a full beep so swift is my response in turning it off. I return to the main part of the car and lean in to turn on the key. I wait 3 LLOONNGG seconds. I then turn the portable battery back on. Life is going in the right direction. I turn the key in the ignition. And Murphic Entropy exulted in my vain efforts. There was a minor rowr from the engine and then click-click-click-click-click from the starter. Not enough juice in the portable battery. Argh!

I had charged the portable battery a couple days ago, but only for an hour or so. The Battery Status light never registered as full. No worries, I still had time and ideas. I zip into the house heading straight for a white, tightly curled extension cord. In passing, I notice the time is 7:17. Time is still on my side. I call for Jaguar or Lemur or Iguana. Jaguar responds. I send her to wake Iguana and send him to me. I pull him out into the cold. I warned him it was cold but he goes out jacket-less and in his jamas. I send him into the garage along one side to plug in the extension cord. I know where a battery charger is that is powered by house current. MBWM had pointed it out just a day ago. It's buried, but I am energetically charged with excitement. Murphic Entropy will be beaten today in spite of my planning failure. I dig. I relocate. I displace. I lift out the charger. Immediately, two new problem present themselves. First, it is my charger, not my charger / starter. ARGH! And second, it has a grounded plug while the extension cord Iguana ran for me has only two prong outlets.

Iguana is called for. He smartly grabs his winter coat. I pass him an extension cord that solves the problem. It takes some wrestling, because the cord is on a very large plastic spool and it will be difficult to pull out the leading end. The trailing end, which is female, can be unwound from the outside. Simplicity itself. Please notice I am ignoring an opening to make a joking remark connecting the ideas of feminine and simplicity. Into the garage again, scaling garden equipment, climbing suitcases, passing over piles of wood, Iguana seeks to complete his task while carrying the spool. The charger is connected to power. The car is connected to the charger. The 10 amp switch is thrown. And the needle that bears witness to the level of charge in the battery barely moves.

But I move. I am undaunted. Iguana grabs the portable battery and brings it in to charge. I locate the white two prong extension cord. I get the portable battery to charging. Three of the four battery status light are lit, it's mostly charged. The plan now is to put charge into both the car battery and the portable battery. When they have both charged for awhile, their combined energy should start the car. I stumble into the house to bring the family together for the morning activities that start our day. While they assemble, I hurriedly type with gusto to begin this entry, ignoring grammar, spelling, punctuation, readability and understand-ability. Those could be corrected later.

It was 8:18 am when I finished writing this portion of the entry. The aquatics class ended 30 minutes later. Murphic Entropy had won The Battle of the Aquatics Class. I had to admit defeat and call for retreat. But I will win The Battle of the Lap Swim Replacement. But this battle didn't need to be fought. That is the real victory for Murphic Entropy. When MBWM arrived home last night, all of these steps could have been run last night. Then this morning, instead of having misplaced confidence in my portable battery, which has only ever failed when it sat forgotten all summer, I would have had well-placed confidence in the car that had been started last night.

The rest of the day was very involved. So much so that I was unable to reach my Weight Watchers meeting, a minor victory for Murphic Entropy. But it was a good day, especially the part where MBWM needed me to take her to the pharmacy to get her father's updated medications. Finally some time alone with my wife. She was feeling rather sick and didn't want drive there alone. I'm afraid I may have overwhelmed her a little with my excitement in being alone with her. But she went with the flow as best she could. She even heroically pulled herself together while we were in Fred Meyers.

And since this is being written / edited / posted on Thanksgiving, I wish one and all a Happy Thanksgiving. I am grateful for so very many things that I hope to record during the day today to post on Friday.

I hope you give thanks with all your heart even if it is only from within, embrace loved ones with abiding joy even if it is from a distance, eat without lasting remorse even if it is off your menu planning, cook with enduring pleasure even if it is straight from the can, box or bag, and watch as others clean up for you even if it involves extensive bribery. Personally, I have a fairly extensive selection of desserts available that won't be served to the kids until the kitchen is clean.

Yours in the warm fuzzies of Thanksgiving that warm the heart for weeks to come,

Eliot

P.S.:

And what do political cartoonists give thanks for? Let's ask Steve Kelley -

P.P.S.:

Meant to mention on Monday that GoComics has cute Peanuts Holiday Countdown.